Failed attempts at humor
What up asses --
Lloyd is back in the casa with a new case of caca to dish.
My weekend was one hell of roller coaster ride, if by "ride" you mean crap-filled hurricane.
For some reason, my mom got it in her head that I should mow her yard. What am I? 14-years-old? No no. Lloyd is a professional in the truest sense of the word. That being the case, I hired some migrant workers who hang out in my bank's parking lot to do the work for me. Three of them cost what just one Lloyd would have to do the same job.
What a bargain!
Looks like I also have a secret admirer in one Harry Dunes, who likes to leave blog posts that allude to a cinematic persona I happen to share a name with.
While I thought Jim Carrey's talking ass in "Ace Ventura" was funny, what he did to sully my good name in "Dumb and Dumber" was anything but.
Still, I can take the crap just as well as I can dish it, so lay it on. Maybe we can swap muffin recipies. I thought my pal DMoany would have had a few, but he ended up being more into bestiality than I cared for.. I guess that's what you do in rural Kansas.
Mittens says: "gross!"
Well, I'm off to an evening of "Night Court" reruns on TV and a bag of Bugles to nosh on under the covers. Tina -- I have the best story to tell you at work. Ask me about poison ivy and midgets when you see me next.
Current mood: Vigilant
Music: Lionel Richie's Greatest Hits
posted by LloydChristmas69 @ 10:46 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
I have plenty to do. Who are you to chastise me?
I am Lloyd. I am awesome and witty. I'd have to say that my life is just as, if not more interesting than some of the drivel you goons type for all the world to see.
You're just jealous, and there's nothing I can do for you, except laugh.
nah nah nah boo boo.
"My name is Harry and I think I am clever because I mimic everything this awesome and original blog does.
Instead of living my own life, I prefer to pretend and be someone's pal from a fictional movie when in fact I am not."
You're the only Ignoramus Rex here, "Harry."
HarryDunne? More like Harry Dumb. Jeez! Why do people keep buggin? You're just trying to keep this brotha down because you're jealous. It's fine. Just relax and enjoy the awesomeness that is Catching up with my Dreams.
"Sill" don't get it? What, are you trying to teach me a lesson?
I mean, someone who starts a blog just to mock mine must have a trove of expertise to pass along...not!
You should go back to humping animals with your pal DMoany and leave the cyberspace wit to me, junior.
You're so glib and you don't even know it.
I'm quite happy with the words I know.
As for the quip about me not being original, I'm not the one who started a fake blog just to mirror this one - ass.
I think you know who DMoany is -- a jamaican animal humper. You need only read my previous warnings posted to the animal community at large.
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