Read this if you have trouble sleeping

OK asses, listen up. In case any of you needed a sleeping aid, I have taken it upon myself to dedicate some of my precious time to adding witty remarks to my pal's blog, which you can find here.

http://iminitforme.blogspot.com/

He's banned me and likely you from leaving any comments on his posts. And let me just say -- anyone who fears a few remarks on posts about the Gillmore Girls...Wow.

I dedicate this critique to Mittens.
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My weekend at home For the first time in a long time, I stayed at home for the weekend ( where else would you spend it, ass?).

Considering I was out until 4 a.m. drinking in Junction City, it was probably for the best.

So Saturday, my grandpa and I went to Kuntz' Drive In for lunch. It's pronounced Koontz, not Cunts, (thanks for clearing that up. I've been saying it wrong for years, NOT!) by the way. My grandpa's nephew owns it, so we went to "help him out." Although Marvin does a pretty good business that our buying two 3 pc. chicken dinners probably didn't make much of a difference (cheapskates!).

But it was delicious and they have root beer on tap, like at old A&Ws. It was damn good rootbeer. (Sprite is better)

Then grandpa and I ran errands. We went to Dollar General, ALCO and Zey's Market. (here's where I and you start falling asleep....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...)It took forever. (tell me about it)

I've discoverd that my grandpa worries over the littlest things (like having to wear old-person diapers?hahahahaha).

They didn't have big bottles of Pine-Sol at Dollar General and he looked so upset, like his dog died or something. And when we went to the market it reminded me why you should never go shopping in the place that you work. My grandpa is the meat ( you said meat -- hahahaha) cutter there, so when he wanted steaks, he went straight to the back and cut up some steaks.
(Does he date any of the sample girls?)

Then he was helping customers pick out steaks and then he repriced a bunch of KC strips that had been mislabeled.


On Sunday, we went to church. It was a short service as my grandpa's niece Twila (yes, that's her real name) (yes, that's a dumb name) and her family were gone and her son-in-law is the lay ( you said lay hahahahaha) leader. So we breezed through the service, which was good because it was as hot as balls (like testicles!) in there. I don't even remember what today's service was supposed to be about because I kept zoning out. The pastor did talk an awfully long time about coffee and how it's best when it's hot. ( I would zone out too.. Oh wait. Your blog has already made me do that...)

We had lunch at Great Aunt Sarah's, which is always good because she used to be a professional cook. We had roast beef and pork, mashed potatoes, noodles, corn on the cob, some other vegetables, salad, a fruit salad my grandpa made, angel food cake and some cherry dessert his ex-wife who was married to Great Aunt Sarah's son made. (too much information!! By the sound of the menu, you must be training to get up to sumo wrestler size, fatty)

Lunch time conversation was intersting. We talked about church, Marvin and Sandy's trip to Alaska, how some lesbians are moving in next door (gasp! You should petition the county to prevent this) to Marvin and Sandy, and other random stuff.

Apparently Marvin and Sandy currently have a gay man living next door to them and they think lesbians may be moving into his house. I really wanted to tell Marvin that it would be to his benefit to have lesbians next door. He would always have some to play golf or softball with, ( have a three-way) they could help him move and they would probably let him come along on Home Depot trips. Just kidding girls, I know they're stereotypes. ( no, they are not, ass.)
After lunch, we just kind of sat around and I started to fall asleep, so grandpa gave me his car keys and I came home. I fell asleep around 3:30 and didn't really wake up until 6 when grandpa asked if I wanted to go back to Sarah's for dinner. (boooorrrrrriiiinnnnggggg) So we went back and had ham sandwiches and jello. Then we played Sequence for forever. It was fun, but Aunt Sarah's friend Marie is a little addled so it was hard watching her play.


(and so ends a blog so tediously boring it made mittens fall asleep with her face in her food. This guy is soooo lame. What do you think?)