DMoany's favorite movie

Lloyd is in the house with his Ebert & Roeper mask on. Mittens is Gene Shalit.

I rented the most God-awful movie this weekend:
"The Lion King"

Let's start with the premise. A group of animals reside in Africa and they set up a system whereby they are able to elect a King and Queen -- Lions!

On top of their uncanny ability to process the innerworkings of governments, they all fnd time to take dance and voice lessons, then practice the steps together, off-camera.

Then, all of a sudden, without any sort of warning, they bust out into song and dance over a bunch of shit.

When I want to see animals dance and sing, I'll take my damn lunch break and Chuck-E-Cheese's and stick a few quarters in a robot mouse.

When I rent a goddamn video with animals, I expect to see a little realism.
"Eat the fat flatulent pig!"

I cannot tell you how many times I yelled that at the screen. (17, I belive.)

So anyway, the movie goes along and this "King" gets killed because he's too stupid to know where all the cliffs are in his kingdom. I say serves him right.

Then, just when I think the little runty prince lion kid is going to go all "Dirty Harry" revenge and just stary slaying and eating his subjects, what happens?

A terrible song and dance number.

I don't really know how the movie ends. I had to get up and use the can and forgot to press pause.

If I had to make a guess, I'd say the kid lion grows up and marries that girl lion he was friends with.

Then they probably get their jungle boogie on and make like 15 lion cubs. And then the female will eat no less than four. (Accodring to the Discovery Channel). And then they will break out in song.

God, I hated this movie.

That said, I think my pal DMoany loves it and has probably made love to it, given his obsession with humping animals.

I'd give it an F, though I'm sure DMoany would give it an A for "oh, you animal, you."
Lloyd is out.