Weight Watchers can shove it

Lloyd has been reborn from the ashes of burnt brownies, asses!

I like to call my hiatus a little something called "liposuction"
That's right, I had 37 pounds of fat sucked out of my back. Jealous? You should be.

When I came to, I was a new man. With 37 pounds lifted from my hot bod, I had to fight the ladies off with my bedpan.

They were all like "Let me give you a sponge bath" and "Let me get you a Jell-o square" and "Did you ring for a nurse?"

Yeah, I had it going on. Well, I let them do what they wanted to me, but I gave them a fake phone number so they can't call me now that I'm back home. I don't need a flock of bitches all up in my business.

Besides, there's this girl named Rachel at the pet store where I get Mittens' food, and she is always flirting with me.

Last time I was in there, she asked me if I wanted to pet her ferrett in the back room. Oh yeah.

Well, you all have been warned. Lloyd is back on the block and ready to rock!