Gay-dar off the hizzle, fo' shizzle

Since my last review was so well-received, I wanted to follow up with another critique, this time of one of my new favorite blogs, "Meadow of Lay-Z-Boys"

http://schlackerz.blogspot.com/

Here now, is the most recent post, with, of course, my witty banter inserted for critical and humorous effect. Mittens also says hello, which is what I call it when she ralphs on the kitchen counter. She says hello about twice a day. It makes a mess, but I know Mittens is a true friend.

Onward:
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Sunday, September 11, 2005

TITLE: InDescribable (sure are a lot of words that follow if that's the case!)

The only way to describe the way I feel is: InDescribable. But I'll try anyways! (I wish you wouldn't, but I can't stop you) Its something I've never felt before. Its like the sunsets colors, that give way to the moons lite glow, which in turn gives way to the sunrise. ( It's as if you smoked a really fat marijuana cigarette and can't shut up until you get some Cool Ranch Doritos) Its as if someone to that view, and made it into an emotion, and released it like a butterfly in my heart, to flitter around, litely bouncing off the walls of my heart everyonce in a while. (That must make you want to barf, or at least give you a bad case of ass pee) Or in the winter, when there is new fallen snow, not a print to be found, and the sun glances off it, making everything gleam. And the ice that covers the trees, in its crystal clarity. She makes me feel all this, and more. (This makes me feel like I'm reading one big cliche) Even the night, in the darkness, small things glow, the fireflies, everywhere, all blinking at once, (sounds like the power's on the fritz! hah!) take them all together, put them in my heart as well. I would do anything for her ( bet you'd volunteer to dance in a ballerina's tutu in the middle of town, if you catch my drift, wink-wink), be anywhere for her, and I always will be there for her, no matter what the situation. I'll love her forever, and nothing is going to take that from me, and especially not her (has she tried? You are starting to sound like a stalker! Sheesh!) . I always will be here to cheer her up ( I bet she loves a good joke that has a racist punchline), or help her to get better when she is sick, or hurt. I love her more than anything. And thats all there is to it. I'm so in love! (Indescribable, eh? Looks like you overcame that writer's block!)
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And so ends my critique. If I had to grade it, I would give it a D, as it lacks originality as love letters go. On top of all that, it has a strong homosexual overtone to it. If I was this chick, I'd be worried about the future. Adam and Eve? More like Adam and Steve, who like to recite poetry about snow and butterflies and kiss each other on the mouth.

Mittens thinks this is gross.

That's all for now. I have a big week ahead at work. I have two reports due to my boss that I haven't started. I'll probably just make our intern do the work for me and sign my name to it. Gots to love the college credit monkeys!

Current mood: Spicy
Current music: ABBA's greatest hits